My life is dull, my body aches.

"You worry unnecessarily"

I do. Sucks being me. I tend to torture myself with what ifs. I'll plant countless thoughts in my head, some good, some bad, and worry about them. Not just worry worry, but WORRY. (Like, now) I feel like crying. I mean, I know, anything happens, happens. It's all fated. God knows best. Yes, I know. But, I just can't help it.

I know, I know ; "Adilah, come on, you're 18, you still got a long way to go, you'll have bigger obstacles to go through, so please, keep yourself together" I know. This isn't twitter, this is a blog, My blog (shit I sound so poyo) but yep, I'm allowed to express myself, yes?

Sometimes I just don't know what I want. Who am I?

College.. college. Well, I know I did okay for SPM, do not tell me otherwise. But not okay enough to get a scholarship. (that sucks!) But okay, the past's the past (I'm being a hypocrite b* here). But really though, private collages are beyond expensive. And if possible, I don't want to be away from my family. Ah whatever, call me anak manja or shit, but yea. So I'm having a hard time on deciding which course to take and which college to go to. Seriously, I have no f-ing idea. It's making me alskdjalksjdlkasd.

But, something else is bothering me, too. God, help. YaAllah yaTuhanku, tolonglah hambamu ini yang sedang berasa gelisah dan tidak sedap hati. Tolonglah.

Amin.