The Reality

You know what? I don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel like distancing myself. I guess the feeling's finally here. Reality just hit me. Eventho it's only Shah Alam, I'm still going to be away from home. I won't be sleeping in my room anymore. I won't be seeing my cats everyday. Ah screw this, I feel like crying. Will I make new friends? Will I make New good friends? I am blessed with having so many lovely people in my life, I am grateful. I definitely want to keep the people that I have now. Will things change? Will I fit it? I want a friend who understands me. No I want to find my twin. Twin as in; I want to meet someone who has the same interest as me, music wise, what-I-want-in-life wise, and- you get the point. I just want to be Adilah in college. I want to be myself.  Maybe even better. I want to do real well in college. I guess I'm scared of losing some people. Like, what if we don't talk as often? From not talking often to.. acquaintances. I don't want that to happen. I really don't know what to expect. I don't think this is PMS (lol). I suck at showing my emotions. I suck at 'feeling' things, honestly.

I can't imagine myself saying 'I love you' to a significant other. Not now, at least.