Coming Of Age - Foster The People

I feel trapped. 

I honestly do not know what to think, what to feel about this.

It scares me.

Honestly,  I am vacation deprived. Also balik kampung deprived. Haven't gone on a proper vacation with my family since 2011. I haven't gone back to Baling (my kampung) for 3 years now. We have our reasons. I honestly, honestly miss everyone there. I miss the atmosphere. A place where you won't depend on the internet to entertain you, really. It's peaceful. Mami Nab's cooking. Her asam pedas is the bomb. What scares me is that my aunties aren't young anymore, what if something happens to them? Oh God, please no. 

I need to go back. I don't know. If you were to ask me to pick between to go back to Baling or to go to USS, I'd pick the former. Baling feels like home. It is. InsyaAllah, I'll go back right after my diploma. I'll be finishing in April. Pretty soon, eh?

So many things left unsaid- 

Must remind self to not hold grudges.

Forgive.

What made me want to write an entry today is actually because;

I read something and it immediately messed with my sanity. 

I'm no saint,

I'm far from a role model 

but I think I'm able to control myself- I'm able to think whats right and wrong.

Priorities. 

Yes, it's human nature to screw up but..

think lah of the consequences.

If it affects you alone then, well, it's really up to you but if it affects everyone around you?

Why would you still do it?

What are you really trying to prove?